I want to address the discomfort many of you feel when it comes to enabling and shed some light on the fine line between enabling and helping. It's crucial to consider the long-term outcomes and ramifications for your child. Enabling may seem like an act of love, but it can hinder their growth and independence. As moms, we want what's best for our children, but sometimes we enable out of our own needs, rather than their actual needs. It's important to question our motivations and understand the impact of our actions. Breaking free from enabling can be difficult, as we fear our adult children may walk away. However, we must remember that we've taught them how to treat us. By enabling, we may unintentionally foster dependence and hinder their personal development. It's time to reassess our approach and recognize the significance of enabling in the long run. Join me as we explore this topic further and uncover ways to find freedom from enabling. Together, we can support our children's growth while preserving our own identities and well-being.

Enabling our adult children is a topic that many moms find uncomfortable but desperately need to address. As moms, we often enable out of love, without fully considering the long-term consequences for our children. We want them to succeed and have good lives, but we may unknowingly hinder their growth by constantly providing for them. Enabling can take various forms, such as financial support or even taking over responsibilities they should handle themselves, like finding jobs or making excuses for them at work.

Enabling crosses the line when it becomes a cycle of dependency, where our children no longer feel the need to take responsibility for their own lives. They know that whatever they need will be provided, and this dynamic can be difficult to break. Many moms fear that if they stop enabling, their children will leave or turn to other family members for support. However, we need to realize that our responsibility lies with ourselves, not with our adult children.

The act of enabling can arise from various factors. Sometimes, we feel pressured or manipulated by our children to continue enabling them. Other times, enabling becomes a way for us to show love and contribute to their lives. However, it's crucial to question whether this is truly beneficial for their long-term growth. Enabling may fulfill our immediate desire to feel helpful and loving, but it may hinder our children's ability to become self-reliant and independent adults.

What would happen if, God forbid, something were to happen to us. Would our children be able to manage on their own? If we've been enabling them excessively, it could lead to a much more challenging transition if they suddenly had to navigate life independently. As difficult as it may be, we need to assess where our enabling is coming from and whether it genuinely serves our children's best interests.

Breaking the enabling cycle doesn't necessarily mean cutting off all support abruptly. Depending on the circumstances, there may be different levels and stages of enabling that we can gradually reduce. Of course, in situations involving substance abuse or other extreme cases, a more drastic approach may be necessary. However, it's important to recognize that we can find a balance between supporting our children and allowing them to take responsibility for their own lives.

If you're struggling with enabling and need guidance, I invite you to reach out to me. I offer Discovery Calls where we can discuss your specific circumstances and explore ways to break free from enabling while fostering your own personal growth. 

Additionally, I often offer workshops and other events. To stay up to date on my newest upcoming event, please subscribe to my newsletter so you don’t miss a thing!

Remember, enabling is not the only way to show love to our adult children. By encouraging their independence and self-reliance, we empower them to become successful, responsible individuals. It's crucial to establish healthy boundaries and allow our children to face the challenges that life presents. Through these experiences, they will develop resilience and the skills necessary for a fulfilling future.

As moms, we may fear that by ceasing our enabling behaviors, we will lose love and connection with our children. However, it's important to realize that true love includes setting boundaries and encouraging growth. By enabling, we may inadvertently send the message that our children are not capable of handling life's challenges on their own. Instead, let's support their growth while also nurturing our own well-being. Together, we can break free from the cycle of enabling and creating healthier, more balanced relationships with our children!!

I hope this blog post has provided you with insights and reflections on the topic of enabling adult children. Breaking free from the cycle of enabling can be challenging but necessary for the growth and independence of both you and your children. Remember, you are not alone on this journey. If you need further support and guidance, I am here to help. Reach out to me for a consultation call, where we can discuss your unique circumstances and develop strategies to overcome enabling behaviors.