[00:00:00] Maybe you're just scrolling on your phone, trying to relax, just chilling out for a while when suddenly you see it. You see that picture of the happy family vacation and your heart sinks, and you don't even know why. At first, you know, this isn't just social media issues. This is emotional pain that's showing up on a screen right in front of you.

And if you've ever felt this, you're not weak. You're grieving. You're not alone. And today I wanna talk to you about this. This was a big factor in how I went downhill really quickly, was the comparison trap and how social media can do that. So I wanna give you four points on this today. So let's dive in.

First of all, the triggers you were not looking for. We all have triggers that we can identify. We could probably make a list. In fact, I have my clients do that most of the time because some of you have substantial amount of triggers that [00:01:00] you're trying to navigate but these are triggers you weren't necessarily looking for.

Social media is full of that, right? The unexpected emotional traps, especially for moms walking through estrangement. Maybe you realize you're not searching for pain, but the pain finds you. Why? Because maybe you're seeing that picture of a three generation photo that reminds you of what you're missing with your daughter and your granddaughter, or your son and your grandson, siblings, group hug photo, like these types of photos that you're seeing.

We have to remember that people are not necessarily posting this to harm you. But when you hear someone say, I'm really grateful for my mom. It just puts salt in the wound. It's not the person who posted, it's not their fault, and it's not jealousy, it's grief. It feels like jealousy in the moment. I totally remember that feeling.

It's like this longing to have this, family event or [00:02:00] family peace that maybe you once had. this ache is really invisible. It's invisible of what once was or what you had hoped would be. And that's why these triggers can be so exhausting and they build up over time draining your energy.

Number two is the comparison trap. You know, sometimes as women too, we measure ourselves against what we see, I think we all did that when we were younger. I'm hoping you're not doing that anymore. But if you are, you're measuring yourself against a myth. And that also comes. Into play when we're talking about our families.

No family is perfect, I've talked about this many times, but social media is that curated version of life. It's the highlight reel that people want you to see. People don't post about the arguments that they have or the coaching or the therapy they're getting, The hard nights. They post the vacations, the milestones, the reconciliations, and when you're in pain, your brain fills in the blanks with stories that hurt you.[00:03:00] 

You're attaching a story to each one of those photos that you see. You might be thinking, oh, that must be such a close family. What did I do wrong? Or, she looks so loved. Why don't my kids wanna be around me? But You're comparing your life to something that is not a full picture. It's their highlight reel.

Your story, just like their story, but you're not seeing it. All of our stories are layered. They're raw, they're real, and that's what makes it powerful. You haven't failed, you're human. Have you made mistakes? Maybe haven't we all? You know, if this message speaks to you and you're ready to prioritize your healing, I offer a discovery call to see if my coaching is the right fit for you, and spots are limited, so please only sign up when you're serious about prioritizing your wellbeing.

Embracing your growth and investing in your healing. click the link, in the show notes or the [00:04:00] description below. Number three is posts that hurt. So what happens when your child posts something or doesn't? This is where it can cut deep too, right? Social media where your adult child posts something like cutting off toxic people saved my life.

Maybe that's their header on their post that you just recently saw, or they post a tribute to a new mother figure, a mentor type, or a mother-in-law, or Maybe there's just silence. There's no text on Mother's Day. There's no birthday acknowledgement, and suddenly you're analyzing every word or lack thereof.

Every post, every absence where they haven't showed up, they haven't attended at something. A holiday, an event. But remember, a post doesn't tell the whole story. You don't have to live on the edge waiting for your child's validation or fearing [00:05:00] misinterpretation because their online choices are not your truth.

And frankly, I don't even believe it's their truth, not a hundred percent. There's no way nobody speaks the truth on social media. I try really hard, to be really honest. I've actually walked away from social media quite a bit and I run a business, but it's not real life. and we need to realize that.

I shared this recently with the group I had at my last retreat. I used to sit there looking at social media, trying to find my daughter, trying to figure out who these people were that she. had allowed to take her away from our family. It wasn't a good crowd. I would sit there with my wine bottle and I would sit there with my laptop and spend hours upon hours, upon hours stewing and crying over what I was seeing when I couldn't change a thing.[00:06:00] 

That brings me to number 

four, which is curating your peace. You have to protect your heart. Online. It's okay to log off. It's okay to mute. It's okay to unfollow or just take a break without guilt. You do not have to feel guilty for that. It's wisdom, my friends. It's wisdom because your piece matters more than their social media updates, right?

Maybe if you still feel like you're not ready to just cut it off completely. Set some time limits for yourself, right? Follow accounts that speak life into you, not lies. And that doesn't even just mean people that you know, like friends and family, but we're talking people that you might look up to that you don't even know and you're never gonna meet in your life, but they bring you down for whatever reason.

Figure out who those accounts are and delete them, Unfollow them. I promise you, you're not gonna miss them. It may feel weird for a few days. surround yourself just like you would in person. You have to [00:07:00] surround yourself online with truth because healing is hard enough without allowing some social media algorithm to weigh in and allow your feelings to be affected by what you see or don't see.

So I hope that encourages you today. I know this is a very real subject that a lot of you are dealing with, so I hope that helped. I will see you in the next video. God bless.