00:00:00    Are you a mom that is asking yourself the  question, am I being manipulated? Am I being played here? I think we've all asked ourselves  that question. If you're watching this video, it's highly likely you have asked yourself  that question because we don't wanna believe that that's really happening.  We don't wanna believe that that's the truth. But in your situation, it just might be the  case. And so today I wanna dive into four signs of manipulation. I wanna start by saying that I  think personally that the emotional manipulation

00:00:37    is the most difficult for a mother.  And we wanna see the best in our child, right? We don't wanna believe that they're  purposefully hurting us, purposefully manipulating us. There's a lot of reasons why people manipulate  and I have other videos out there for that. But I wanna just talk about four reasons today.  So firstly, number one is the common tactics, right? Because if you ever feel like you can never  say no without a severe repercussion or maybe it's gonna turn into some explosive argument if you  don't go along to get along in that situation,

00:01:15    whatever that situation may be.  Maybe you're even fearing that there will be an emotional withdrawal, right? These  are the things that typically happen when you're being manipulated. And in this  case, by your child. If you think back, you can typically trace that back to some  conversation that wasn't their ideal. And it's pretty easy to do once you really start  thinking about it. One of the biggest things is, does your child play the victim, right? Maybe  they're playing the victim to gain sympathy

00:01:46    from you and manipulate different  situations for their benefit. So this is very common. And it doesn't mean  it's always gonna be this way. I can promise you that. But you do need to know and educate  yourself. You need to think about guilt tripping. gaslighting or like I said playing the victim  because that will empower you to recognize when this is happening and I think sometimes we too  quickly as a society too quickly label a behavior or diagnose someone with something because they  have a behavior but I do encourage you to see a

00:02:20    trend before you start thinking that way.  So number two is financial manipulation this is a big one and super super common  because you're probably going to feel anxiety when you start thinking about withdrawing  whether you're maybe you're an enabler and there they continue to manipulate you and you have the  sphere around that you probably are going to feel that anxiety and also you may fear that your  child's going to resent you if you choose to not have boundaries around the finances.  So I think a lot of moms continue to enable

00:02:51    because they fear that the child's going to walk  away and I know how difficult it can be but it is a choice like so many other things. And if  what you're currently doing is not working and it hasn't been working for a long time, then  many times you need to challenge yourself. I think it's time to try option B or  C, right? Again, each situation is so, so different. So I'm not here on this video to  tell you what to do without having any idea of your specific circumstance. So for those of you  moms that have been navigating this journey,

00:03:27    whether you're estranged or you're just  navigating just a tough relationship, it's really could be maybe it's toxic, maybe  there's just a lot of things going on and you're just really unsure of how to handle things.  If you're ready to start diving in and start taking care of you and learn all the tools and  all the techniques, then I want you to reach out via the discovery call link. It's a pinned  comment. It's also in the description. I would love to hear from you for a 30  minute consultation. It's not a coaching

00:03:53    call. So please know that this is to learn  more about coaching. So I'd love to talk to you. Thirdly is dependency issues.  So you may feel that your child relies excessively on you for the emotional, the  financial, right? You and I both know that this is limiting their independence. And so I  think that they want it sometimes because they can depend on you and not have to either work or  put a plan together for their own future. So that should tell you something.  Something is stopping them. People do not,

00:04:28    people don't just not want to move forward  for no reason, but we want to encourage them to make those decisions for themselves.  If you look at every time where you save the day for them, think about what that looks  like. Think about that as an intervention, like you're intervening every time you save the  day. Maybe your child isn't asking you for money, but maybe they're relying on you for all  their decisions, their emotional support, again, limiting their own independence.  So then they have no self -esteem because they

00:05:03    are not thinking that they're even capable of  doing something great on their own. They've never done it because maybe you've done it for them.  So they have no idea that that's possible. The reality is I think that every mom knows  deep down when she's being manipulated. We've all been there at some point or another in  some capacity. So we've all been manipulated by various people. It might not have even  been your child in other cases, right? So over a period of time when you start to  see a pattern, then it becomes easier to

00:05:36    spot. But your job, your job is to stop  because if you're teaching your son or daughter that this is okay and this is how  to treat you, you're honestly teaching them how to treat themselves and others.  So life is not easy. Your situation might be really complicated right now, but this  will have an impact on your own life as well. if you're not careful, you  think you're just helping them, but really what you're doing is you are  going to end up having chronic stress, anxiety, maybe even depression because  you've allowed this to go on too long,

00:06:14    and it's time to take care of you as well.  So if that's you, I would love to talk to you in that discovery call. But until then,  God bless, see you in the next video.