[00:00:00] You spent years raising your kids, loving them, and sacrificing for them, but now that they're grown, where do you fit in? Are you still needed or have you just become an afterthought? If you've ever wrestled with these questions, you are not alone. And today we're gonna break down what a truly healthy relationship with your adult child looks like, so you can move forward with peace and connection.

what does a healthy relationship with them look like? What do they need from us? I don't know about you, but I always wondered, what does that relationship actually look like once they're grown? So maybe you are navigating estrangement or you're struggling to reconnect and you just don't know what that balanced is anymore.

Many moms ask me, what should I expect? How much involvement is too much? Am I overstepping? Am I doing too much? Am I not doing enough? All the million dollar questions right? So today I wanna break it down into four different elements of what I believe a healthy parent adult child relationship could [00:01:00] look like.

So let's dive in.

First off is mutual respect. That is number one in any relationship that you have with anybody, and a strong relationship is built on that. It's built on that mutual respect, not guilt or obligation. your adult child is now very much their own person, responsible for their own life, their own choices, even if they're not the choices you would make.

And boundaries goes both ways. As many of you know. Many of you have kids that have. Come to you with some boundaries they do have the right to set them, and so do you. you might be asking yourself, am I respecting them with their autonomy? Are they respecting me? By setting these boundaries, I say yes, as long as it's done in a loving way.

Remember, boundaries are not meant to keep people out. They're meant to keep, people in and having that mutual respect, [00:02:00] and many times with our kids, those different boundaries, get clouded because we're not doing it the right way. We have a lot of emotion in this relationship.

Way more than probably any other relationship you might have. And so we have to keep that in mind. Number two is judgment free communication. We wanna have open communication with them, and a healthy relationship isn't about walking on eggshells, which I know a lot of you, actually use that terminology with me and I completely understand it as I've done that myself.

But it's about honest, safe conversations without fear of judgment, right? Your child should feel comfortable coming to you without worrying about being lectured or dismissed. Those two things right there, being lectured or dismissed, will push them away, I believe further than anything, and even if their version of the past differs from yours, 

a healthy relationship can allow [00:03:00] space for both perspectives. we have to understand that you have to be in a. Mature relationship with two people, the maturity level has to be there. depending on the age of your child or what has happened in their life, they may not be at that place where they're going to be able to say, oh, mom, I understand.

I understand where you're coming from. It doesn't match mine. But, I respect your, your thoughts. At some point, your kids will get there, but they might not be there right now. We need to listen to understand, not to respond. And we've all heard that. We've all heard that advice million different places, but that one shift can transform your relationship in ways like nothing else.

So moms,when is the last time you truly took time for yourself? if you are feeling overwhelmed or longing for connection or simply need a break to breathe, I have something special for you. You've probably heard me share this before, [00:04:00] but we have an Empowered Mom Retreat on April 26th and 27th, just next month in beautiful Ellenton, Florida.

So if you are local or are interested in this transformative weekend. This is designed to help you heal, connect, and find support and love that you deserve. And so you're gonna connect with myself and other moms who truly understand your journey. this is going to be a safe judgment-free space where we're gonna have discussions, we're gonna build meaningful friendships, and you're going to experience the power of encouragement maybe for the first time. 

we are going to have a blast. just wanna let you know that spots are filling up fast. if you are interested, you can reach out to us at team@sallyharris.com. I will put all of that in the show notes as well. But just remember that this is a time for you. No responsibilities, no pressure, just peace.

So I can't wait to see you there. 

Number three is support without overstepping. You know, [00:05:00] as moms, our instinct is to always help protect, fix, right? But a healthy relationship means balancing that support with respect for their independence. 'cause remember, we're talking about adult kids here, we're not talking about teenagers. And so your son or daughter might come to you for advice, but that doesn't always mean they want you to solve the problem.

And so I want you to ask yourself, am I offering support in a way that empowers them, makes them feel independent? Or is it being answered in a way that makes them more dependent on me, which is exactly what we wanna get away from. And number four is shifting the parent child relationship to an adult, to adult relationship, 

That's one of the biggest struggles that I still see. and we wanna see them as this little child you raised. the goal here obviously is to transition from an authority figure to an adult to adult relationship. But what is that based on? It's based on trust. It's based on connection, and a healthy [00:06:00] relationship is chosen.

It's not forced. connection needs to come from love, not guilt or obligation, like I said earlier. So I just wanna say that again, a healthy relationship is chosen. It's not forced. We cannot force someone to be in relationship with us, even our child. And so these are four tips that I hope this helps you today and just kind of, you know, take a, take a scan over, your conversations with your kids and so forth.

And you might be able to see where you can improve. I know I certainly had to do the same, so no judgment. I hope that helped you and we'll see you in the next episode. God bless.