[00:00:00] Did you know that? Some experts now say that one in three families are touched by estrangement. Other studies confirm one in four Americans are estranged from a close family member, and most often this is between a parent and a child. These stats are staggering and it's just increasing, but truly it is being called a silent epidemic.

for many moms, it's the deepest heartbreak. They've ever known. And the worst part is most suffer in silence, feeling ashamed, confused, and completely alone. But I want you to know that you are not alone. And more importantly, there is hope. even in the darkest moments on this journey, God is not done writing your family story.

Today. I have four tips for you on this. The trends, the statistics. I'm gonna go into a little bit of that, but really just wanna help you understand why this is [00:01:00] happening. we talk about drug epidemics and sex trafficking and all of these things. while those epidemics could be relative to what is happening here in estrangement, some of the time, it is still staggering.

So let's dive in.

The first point I wanna talk to you about is the rise of estrangement, the cultural shift where family bonds, which used to feel unbreakable, Everything's being questioned now, and in many case, it's being severed. And estrangement used to be this rare and shameful topic, and now it's.

Discussed openly, especially amongst our kids. And so what I see as someone who helps moms navigate estrangement, I'm seeing that the younger generations are more likely to walk away from family [00:02:00] if they're feeling misunderstood or they felt judged or emotionally unsafe.

While there are times where sometimes we do need to walk away from people, but have we tried every recourse? Have we tried to navigate reconciliation? Have we tried to improve the relationship? And trust me, I understand that. Like I said, there are times, but at the same time, moms.

Parents in general are feeling so bewildered because it is a sudden silence. And then of course there's a lack of closure. So what's causing this,The majority of the things that I see are social media, divorce, trauma, and communication breakdowns. Those are some of the big ones that I see. And these are just some of the ingredients, 

That's what's feeding this epidemic and what used to be solved [00:03:00] face-to-face where we would just talk to one another is now handled with, I'm gonna block you or I'm gonna unfollow you, or I'm gonna ghost you, and these are the things that we're navigating. But I want you to know that if you're a person of faith.

God sees through all of that and he sees your heart and your cries and you're not alone. So number two, I wanna talk about the emotional and psychological impact. So what is this doing to you as a mom? I know what it did to me, and I'm certainly not blaming my daughter. And when I say that, it's also how I handled it.

How did I handle The cutoff, how did I handle the emotional aspect, which turned into a physical aspect? Because estrangement doesn't feel like, oh, this is just a season, like many other things, even though it is, but it feels more like a death. It's a death without a [00:04:00] funeral. no one brings casseroles or checks in on you, right?

It's not like that. we're expected to move forward just like we would, after a death of someone we love. People check in on you and so forth. This is just like, okay, kind of like you broke your leg, you get up and you continue to move forward. You heal, you move forward. 

People don't ask you how you're doing. And what I do know is that. Moms replay every moment. my previous video was about codependency, so there's that aspect too. But in this video, I wanna focus on the epidemic itself. And while I don't want you to be sitting there replaying every single moment, you're human and you're going to do it, especially in the beginning because this guilt that you're carrying becomes a mental prison.

Was I too harsh? Was I too controlling? Was I too absent? we forget that our kids do have their own perception. But what happens when the silence comes? it's not just from your child, but from others who don't know what to [00:05:00] say or worse. They judge you and that isolation cuts deep and that isolation is what leads to depression and anxiety and this heavy sense of failure.

But I want you to hear this. You are not a failure. God doesn't love you any less because of this chapter, and he's still with you when no one else will be, So, if you are a mom tired of feeling alone in this journey as a mom of an estranged child, join me on April 26th and 27th in Ellenton, Florida for a life-changing weekend retreat.

You're going to connect, grow, and find real hope with moms who truly get it, you're going to leave feeling lighter, stronger, and more confident about your next step. if you are interested, you can reserve your spot today. the team email will be in the show notes below and I look forward to hearing from you if you have any questions 

And time is getting closer to where I'm gonna need to cut off applicants. [00:06:00] so please reach out as soon as possible if you are interested. Number three is the role of communication breakdown. Like I said, communication is one of the biggest things that I see, the breakdown of that, and so many moms will say, I didn't even see it coming.

The last argument felt minor, but something deeper was always going on, sometimes these small misunderstandings with your son or daughter. They snowball. It's a snowball effect and different generations communicate in different ways. what you meant as love may have been heard as control, or what you thought was just advice, may have felt like criticism.

And eventually both sides just kind of dig in and reaching out feels risky, right? Saying the wrong things feels worse than saying nothing, and that's when the silence grows. That is what we obviously wanna avoid as much as possible. but I just want you to know that even in the silence, God is still [00:07:00] working.

What we see in the natural is not everything that's going on, He's behind the scenes. Thank goodness. So lastly number four is the generational differences. our changing family dynamics. Are different, than our kids. And then our parents, like our parents taught us loyalty, right?

This generation has taught boundaries. Our generation fought for connection with family and friends. This one fights for independence, and none of them are, in and of itself wrong, there's gotta be some balance. And therefore respect, 

somewhere between all these shifts in values beliefs and lifestyles, the family unit as a whole has fractured. many adult children are trying to heal from wounds they couldn't explain as kids. And many moms are trying to love kids who suddenly feel like strangers.

It's very difficult. So I'm hoping that this [00:08:00] helps you realize that this is not about blame, it's about understanding that there is a divide and choosing to not give up. It's about believing that God can redeem your family even in the most broken of stories. while culture is gonna keep changing, God doesn't change.

if you're someone of faith, I want you to remember that God knows how to reach a prodigal child even when we can't, and that my friend should give you a lot of hope because that is what happened in my family.

That is what happened with my daughter, and I will never stop talking about that because it is so important. when I was giving up hope for so many years. I just needed to, hold on. I needed to have that epiphany, like I mentioned in the last video about, you know, when we were talking about codependency and talking about, you know what, I had to be okay, whether she was or not, because I am still a human being.

I'm still a mom, [00:09:00] I'm still a woman, a wife, all of these things, and so are you, because healing is gonna start with you. Nobody's gonna do it for you. You don't have to stay stuck in despair even though the world says we have an estrangement epidemic, which we do, but the healing, the faith, those are your next steps.

And when you can believe that no matter how far away your son or daughter may seem, God is never far from you. And I obviously help moms. There are other people you need to find a community. People who are going to love you through this and help you through this. And like I've mentioned many times, that's why I do what I do.

I didn't have those people. I didn't have people that could understand. I had loving friends, and I even had, some family that helped. But at the end of the day, unless you've gone through it, it is just so difficult to walk [00:10:00] someone through such a difficult, heartbreaking journey.

And so I hope this helps explain the epidemic per se, helps you understand what is going on, why it's happening, but we don't have to succumb to it. We have to keep moving forward and healing starts with you. So I hope this helped. I will see you in the next episode. God bless.