00:00:01 Have you ever felt like someone else is controlling your emotions? Almost like they're holding the remote to your heart, one text, one conversation, and then suddenly they're angry, they're hurt, they're mad, or they shut down and block you. So, if you are dealing with the adult child, your son or your daughter, and it feels like you're living in reaction to them, or maybe you really are, but you want to start living out of your own peace. Here's the truth. You can take the remote back. And today, I'm going to

00:00:36 show you [Music] how. Before I get started, I just want to mention I learned this analogy from Jefferson Fiser. I highly recommend you follow him on Facebook or Instagram. The remote analogy is genius for communication in my opinion. He's a great person to learn from in regards to communication for everybody. So, I have four points for you today. Number one is I want you to start recognizing the remote control trap. When someone's behavior starts dictating your emotional state and you're cognizant of it, right, you become

00:01:22 caught in what we call the remote control trap, right? So maybe your adult child is ignoring your texts and it devastates you. It's hurtful. Or maybe they're lashing out and then you instantly feel defensive or guilty. You didn't choose that emotion, they did. When you realize that you're letting someone else's actions control how you feel, then you can start to wake up to the fact that you've given that person, in this case your son or daughter, too much emotional power. The first step in noticing and really paying attention to

00:02:01 this is who is really holding my remote right now. Am I or is someone else? Number two is why you need a manual, not a remote. Love this analogy because quite honestly, instead of staying trapped in reactions, it's time to take charge by creating a manual. It's just a clear, healthy guide that shows others how to treat you. Quote unquote boundaries. Same thing. A manual is not about being controlling. It's about just setting clear expectations. It's about communicating your needs in a healthy way,

00:02:45 communicating your limits and your values, but you're communicating it with love and strength. It's not this. When you hand someone a manual, obviously this is just an analogy. This is what you're telling them. You're saying, "Here is how I expect to be treated if you want a relationship with me. That shift changes everything. So if that is you and you are ready to take that emotional power back, but you're not sure where to start, I invite you to schedule a discovery consultation with me. It's not

00:03:20 a coaching session, but it's a private call where we're going to talk about your situation and help you figure out what support option would be the next best step for you. So just remember, you do not have to do this alone. You can check the show notes, the description, and the link to the discovery call is in there. Number three is setting boundaries that protect your peace. So remember, we talk about boundaries a lot. Boundaries are not about shutting people out or punishing them. It's about protecting the parts of

00:03:52 you that are sacred, your peace, your heart, your self-worth. And it might be as simple as or sound like, you know, I'm happy to talk when we can be respectful to each other or I will not stay in this conversation that turns into yelling or name calling. And you do it in peace. You do it calmly. You don't match their anger. You don't match any of that energy. Because when you're calm and consistently, that's the key word here. This is not a onetime thing. You have to consistently hold those boundaries. You are teaching others how

00:04:30 to treat you and that it's non-negotiable and that that's okay. We all should do this and not just with our kids. Think of how healthy these relationships you have in your life if everyone did this. It would be amazing. It would be amazing. Number four is living like you believe you deserve respect. I know a lot of you don't think you deserve it because you're beating yourself up over something that happened. And the self-respect isn't just about what you say. It's about how you treat yourself day in day out. What

00:05:04 are you telling yourself? What are the words in your mind that you just keep repeating, repeating, repeating? And you're not changing those words. You're not changing your actions. But when you start taking care of your mind, your body, your spirit, you reinforce to yourself and honestly everyone else that you are worth kindness, patience, and love. And that just might mean giving yourself permission to rest. It might mean journaling your emotions instead of bottling them up. Because like a bottle, you fill it up

00:05:41 and then the cork's going to pop off, right? And that's when we have fights. It might mean leaning into your faith instead of fear. You can't have both at the same time. It's impossible. I want you to think about that. And the more you live like you deserve respect, the less likely you're going to hand over the emotional remote to anyone ever again. So powerful. So just remember, you are not powerless. You are not stuck. You have a God-given right to guard your peace, to protect your heart, and to

00:06:17 guide your life with strength and wisdom and love. It's time to take back that remote and take back your life. I hope that helped you today. I will see you in the next episode. God bless.