have you ever whispered to yourself 
"If they would just come back everything would be okay again." 
You know when your adult child is making a heartbreaking 
decisions or has walked away completely it can feel like 
your world is unraveling The silence is deafening and then you 
feel very disrespected at the same time All of the unanswered 
questions that you have But I want to share something with you 
today that changed my life You don't have to wait for their 
return to start returning to yourself You know peace is still 
possible even in the middle of their chaos In this video I'm 
walking you through four powerful steps to emotional freedom 
For those of you that are hurting but are ready to heal I 
think this topic is so important I've been talking a lot about 
it lately because it's really been put on my heart So let's 
dive in [Music] Number one is letting go of the illusion of 
control You notice I said illusion I used to think I had 
control over the situation I used to think that I could protect
and guide and rescue But any of you feeling that way you know 
that it doesn't work When our kids become adults that wiring of
ten turns into feardriven control We think if we can say the 
right thing if we can offer just enough help or maybe better 
yet if we keep trying harder they're going to come around That 
particular mindset left me stuck in a cycle of anxiety false 
hope depression Control is not love It's fear in disguise 
Control is not love Some of you like me I was never trying to 
control my daughter's life I was trying to control the 
situations to keep her safe right because when they're young 
that's our job But some point along the line right from birth 
o​​​​​n up like we we never make that transition which is why this 
is so important And it explains also why it's so hard And so 
letting go doesn't mean giving up It means choosing peace over 
the panic It means accepting that their choices are theirs and 
so is their journey and so is their consequences Right you can 
still love them without managing them What a relief when you 
don't have to do that Because one day when your kids come back 
if you're someone who's been cut off completely when they come 
back or even when the relationship improves and you start loving
them without managing them it is going to feel like a weight 
lifted from you I promise You know your job is to pray release 
and trust God to work in the places that you can't reach And 
this is where the peace begins It begins in surrender not 
strategy Peace begins in surrender You surrendering your sons 
and daughters to him It's not your strategy on how you're going
to change them That's where we get stuck And then we get stuck
in this cycle and we wonder why nothing ever shifts We've been 
talking a lot in my group coaching program lately about 
surrender It is so important Number two is we need to honor 
the grief because a lot of you are grieving and no one sees it 
Because this is a deep private grief that few people talk 
about And until you have experienced it yourself you probably 
weren't talking about it either You didn't just lose contact 
with your daughter or your son You lost a connection Some of 
you lost a closeness and the future that you dreamed of You've 
lost moments You've lost holidays You've lost grandkids 
Conversations that never happened years of memories that we 
can't get back And because it's not a final loss as in death 
it often gets dismissed by others So I want you to know that 
your grief is real And what happens is unprocessed grief ends 
up being bitterness shame numbing That was me This is why it's 
important to give yourself space to feel Cry journal break down 
feel your emotions but don't stay there You're not broken 
because you're grieving You're healing Your grief is healing 
you Healing takes some honesty It takes a support system You 
can't move forward if you're constantly telling yourself "I 
shouldn't feel this way I shouldn't be crying I shouldn't be 
angry." It's okay We just can't stay there We have to feel it 
We have to face it because we live by faith not by feelings Step 
by step you're going to begin to rise If these words are stirring 
something in your heart and you're thinking I don't want to do this
 alone anymore Then I want to personally invite you to book a 
discovery call with me This is not a coaching session It is a 
conversation with you and I We're going to talk about the story 
We're going to talk about the kind of support that might truly 
help you take that next level of healing Spots are limited so 
please only sign up if you're serious about prioritizing yourself
your well-being you want to embrace your personal growth and 
invest in your healing If that's you you can click the link in 
the description or show notes and schedule your call Number 
three is reclaiming your identity We talk about this a lot and 
the reason I talk about it a lot is because a lot of you are 
struggling with this You know it's easy to forget who you are 
when your identity has been wrapped up in being a mom for decades 
You know when your child pulls away or they become someone you 
don't even recognize anymore You might feel like your whole sense
of self goes out the door with them And that loss of identity is 
devastating to you to them and to the rest of your family and 
those that love you Here's the truth though You were someone 
before you came a mom And you are still someone God did not stop​​​​
writing your story just because you became a mom And for you it's 
time to rediscover It's time to rediscover all of those parts of 
you that get buried under pain responsibility life You know the 
woman who used to laugh freely who used to actually have dreams 
I know a lot of you are so creative I don't have a creative 
bone in my body when it comes to creativity I love talking to 
you guys So many of you moms that I serve are so creative You're 
either artists or musicians or you just are just beautiful You 
have these amazing hobbies I would love to be able to help you 
navigate and figure out what yours is again because we used to 
have some So I want you to just start with one small act of selflove 
for yourself Go take a walk Go paint Go pray You know you're 
still here and your story isn't over Your child's story isn't 
over either In fact their testimony is being written right now 
And so is yours And just because we're in the middle we're in 
that wilderness feeling that time period where we don't have 
answers yet still being written And lastly number four is building 
boundaries because we need to protect your peace When you are 
in the middle of heartbreak your mind oh my goodness can become 
such a battlefield Do you know what I mean we overanalyze everything 
We take a look at their text to us We stalk their social media 
Most of you who know me well you know that I used to do that Do 
not recommend that Replaying old arguments or conversations in 
your head And what happens is every single time you do that it 
drags you deeper into despair which is what we do not want But 
you my friend have a choice to make because you have the power 
to protect your peace Healthy boundaries aren't just what you 
say to other people It's also about what you allow inside your 
own thoughts and your spirit So I want you to start thinking and 
noticing some of those toxic loops those whatif stories the 
guilt And then I want you to interrupt those with some truth 
This thought does not serve my peace I am allowed to focus on 
what I can control which is me Limit how long you allow yourself 
to ruminate Choose peace over chaos you know this form of 
self-respect in a boundary you are worthy of that protection 
And that's exactly what it is It's protection It's self-protection 
Sometimes some days it might even feel like self-preservation 
So I want to encourage you in that today I hope that helped 
you and I will see you in the next episode God bless!