I was watching this Dr. Phil clip, 
and something he said really stuck with me. He asked, are we helping 
someone heal by going no contact, or are we just making it easier to 
hit the eject button? Take a look. There are definitely situations where walking away 
is the healthiest choice yet. Here's the thing. Are we actually helping people heal or just 
making it easier for them to hit the eject button on their own families? Stats say about 
one in four adults is estranged from a parent, and experts think it's only going 
to get more common. So tonight we're digging to the big question. 
Is this just how families work now? And if you cut someone off, is there any 
way to fix things later? My first guess, Laura is a mother who says she was 
totally blindsided when her daughter cut her off. [00:01:00] Then Laura went 
viral on TikTok as the doormat mom. After sharing her story, what started as a personal 
heartbreak turned into a national debate. She wants to speak up for all the 
parents left wondering what happened. Are you a dormant mom? Did you do 
everything in your power to raise incredible adult kids only to be accused 
of doing nothing of the sort? You didn't do good enough? Famous treat you. You're 
possibly estranged. You are not alone. There are thousands of parents in 
the same boat. You don't have to be alone and suffer in silence. Because you 
ended up to be a doormat mom or a dad. Okay, so I have a few comments on this 
in regards to what Dr. Phil said and the doormat mom. I completely agree with 
her when she said, you are not alone. She is very right in that. [00:02:00] 
but the question that he asked, are we helping someone heal by going 
no contact? Or are we just making it easier to hit the eject button? What is 
society doing social media, this trend that this particular mom has even started? 
I don't know her, I don't know her story. I'm not judging her. But what I wanted to come 
on here today and talk about is the moms that are hurting. Because listen,I am not here to 
bash the mom who's hurting. I was that mom, right? I was that mom at one time, and I am not 
here to criticize the adult child who walked away because I know this is complicated and pain 
can make all of us react in different ways. I've also seen a lot of families reconcile, With 
those moms feeling like they're a doormat mom. The difference is what are these moms doing? What 
are they doing with their pain? What are they doing During the time of estrangement or, maybe 
it's just a short pause This is what I wanna say. The moms that I work [00:03:00] with, they're 
not playing the victim. They're not stuck in doormat mode. Do they have hard days? Yes. 
They're human, but they're choosing growth and they're working on themselves. They're praying and 
reflecting and getting support, and most of all, they're preparing their hearts for the day 
When that door reopens, one of the moms in my group said one time, I'll never forget, 
she said, we are not here bashing our kids. We're here to find a path forward and we're 
trusting God for reconciliation. And that's exactly it. There's a difference. 
maybe you're the mom watching this, that you feel like a doormat. and maybe 
justly. So, but my goal with the moms that I serve is to help them rebuild an 
authentic relationship with their kids. Not a perfect one, because no 
relationship is perfect. We're human, but sometimes we need to learn 
from past mistakes. We've all made them. Whether you're the adult child or you're the 
mom, right? And to [00:04:00] those of you adult children who went no contact without a 
conversation. I do wanna talk to you today. I would love to hear from you, but those of 
you that left with no fight, no explanation, you left a solid family with silence 
and confusion because that does happen. But I want you to know that I 
understand that whatever you're dealing with might be incredibly painful, 
and I believe that your pain matters too. But I also know this. most of you, 
the moms that I serve, you have a mom over here who is ready to walk through 
whatever that is with you, with no judgment. She's not the mom who refuses to 
admit that she never did anything wrong. She's not the mom that's gonna 
be like, I was the perfect parent. There's no such thing. She's not the mom that 
says, I did everything right. [00:05:00] It was all her. It was all him. Those aren't the moms 
in my world. Those aren't the moms that reach out to me for help. The ones that want to play victim 
are the ones that go somewhere else. I don't know where they get help. Maybe they're not getting 
help, but those are not the moms that I work with. Even Dr. Phil said that's absurd, if 
you watch his whole clip, he said, if you could choose one thing to that 
mom, can you choose one thing that you would apologize or ask forgiveness for, 
and that mom couldn't think of one thing. So the ones that I work with are doing the 
hard work and they're owning their part, whether they're in communication with their 
child or not. It starts with us just like you, the adult child. This starts with you. your mom is building new skills and growing 
in ways that you may not see yet. [00:06:00] And so if you are listening to this 
as an adult child, I want you to know that the mom you walked away from, for whatever 
reason, may not be the same mom today. She might be one of the moms in my 
coaching programs who's digging deep, learning new coping tools, who's 
setting healthy expectations, who's taking care of herself, who's preparing 
her heart for when you're ready to come back? you may think you know her, and you may have 
every reason for why you've shut the door, but here's the hard truth. How do you know? Things 
can't change if you never try. So please don't let this world and all the noise on social media 
convince you. That cutting people off is cool. Cutting people off is the only way to heal. We 
need to just toxic parenting. We need to just remove ourselves. Don't get me wrong, and I'm sure 
I'll get a lot of heat over [00:07:00] this. There are times where people need to walk away 
from other people. It is extremely toxic. I think we don't even know what the word toxic 
means anymore because it's thrown around like if you don't get your way or they don't do this 
or that for you, all of a sudden you're toxic. But healing maturity, comes with rebuilding. At 
least trying Then you could say you tried again, but I want you to know that these moms that I 
serve. I wouldn't be working with moms who are in constant victim mode because those people, I 
can't help. But these moms, she's not bashing you. She's not waiting with blame with this list of 
things that you did wrong, and you're probably thinking, I'm not gonna contact her because, 
you know, maybe I used to get criticized a lot, or, she never listened. She talked over me. 
[00:08:00] She's over here doing the work, praying for the day you come back, and if 
you do, your mom might be strong enough now to open that door with love and 
wisdom that you never thought possible. New communication skills, listening skills, real empathy, and a heart ready to have 
an adult to adult relationship with you. Most of your moms don't wanna parent you 
anymore. They just didn't know how to stop. someday, when you're a mom, if you're not already, 
you're gonna understand that point. for those of you moms that are listening and maybe you've never 
gotten the help that you need, or you're tired of being the victim and you're ready to do the work. 
I would love to have a consultation call with you. You can click the link below in [00:09:00] the 
show notes. It's called a discovery call. It's not a coaching call. It's a consultation where 
I can share more about how I can help you and I can learn more about the situation. 
I really hope this helped you today, and I'm really hoping that some adult 
kids with an open mind are listening. God bless.