Have you ever watched your child 
wrestle with anxiety, addiction, toxic relationships, maybe even depression, 
or maybe they've pulled away shut you out completely. What happens? Your heart 
wants to step in. We want to rescue them. We want to fix the mess, right? But 
here's the truth. You're not their savior. This battle is not yours to fight. It's God's. 
Today I wanna talk to the mom who's carrying what God never asked her to carry because that was 
me. we're gonna talk about a faithful surrender, but also what does it practically look like 
to release control without walking away in shame? Today, I have four points for you in 
regards to this, and so let's dive right in. Number one is love without control. You know, 
[00:01:00] as moms, I think we're wired to nurture and to guide and to protect them. 
And as you know, this was our role for many, many years. But when your child is an adult and 
their struggles become deeper than that scrape knee or the, the fights with the best friends, 
you know, the rules change and so does your role. you might think, oh, but if I could just 
say the right thing, they're gonna snap out of it. You know, if I don't keep texting 
or checking in with them, they're gonna think, I don't care. How many of you have dealt 
with that? Sometimes trying to help turns into trying to control. We get so wrapped up 
in the situation, but really that's not love. It's fear disguised as love. So practically, 
what if you were praying behind the scenes Even if you can't show up in person, 
maybe they're not in your world right now. Don't [00:02:00] rush every silence 
with a solution or a sermon, right? Let's be honest here. You don't need to preach to 
them. You don't need to solve the problems. You don't need to give them a solution 
to everything that they're going through. some of this, they're gonna 
have to figure out on their own, just like you and I did. Let that love of 
yours that you have for them be steady, not smothering. if you are in communication 
with them you could even text them and say, hey, I'm thinking of you that says more than this three paragraph message 
that they don't wanna read. But we need to learn when to release because 
when we release, God takes over. Ultimately, I think he is a much better parent than you or 
I could ever be. And so I don't know about you, but I want him taken over because I don't 
wanna be responsible for this, and frankly, it's not my responsibility 
and it's not yours.[00:03:00] So let's dive into number two. 
Surrender is not giving up. Like I said, it's giving it over. Surrender isn't 
weakness, it's wisdom. It truly is. And yet so many moms feel like they're betraying 
their child by stepping back. You know, like, if I don't fight for them, who will? And are there 
situations and times where we need to step in? Of course there is, but what I'm seeing 
is a lot of moms navigating every little, conversation and every mistake or every situation 
trying to solve the problems. You stop controlling even if it's outta love, right? 
It's basically just saying, God, I trust you to go where I can't reach, 
what I can't heal, what I can't. replace that worry. Maybe you're a journaler. Get 
all those, get all those [00:04:00] thoughts down. Some limits on how much energy you spend 
trying to track their life. That doesn't mean indifference. It really just means guarding 
your own peace, which many of you are not doing, I would love to see So many of you stop 
acting impulsively because when you can take a breath and take a step back and make 
sure that the timing is right, get a second opinion Don't always just go with our gut in 
the sense of I really wanna reach out to them, but maybe you're sending that three paragraph 
message rather than, I'm thinking of you. if you're sitting here thinking, yep, this is me, 
this is hard, and I don't know how to do this on my own, then I invite you to book a discovery 
call with me. It's not a coaching session, but it's a conversation where you and 
I are gonna talk about where you're at, what you've tried, and how myself, 
and whether it be one-on-one coaching, group coaching, how any [00:05:00] 
of that might be able to support you. We'll see if it's a good 
fit. if you're interested, click the link in the show notes below 
for the discovery call. Spots are limited, so please just sign up when you're serious 
about prioritizing yourself. You do not have to go through this alone, and I would 
love to help you find that path forward. number three is you weren't meant 
to carry this alone. So how many of you feel like your child's struggle has 
become your emotional prison? All areas of your life suffer. if you're 
obsessing over their next move, you're not enjoying your own life, you lose 
the ability to rest in what God has for you. Maybe you don't even know what that looks 
like, but for those of you that do you know what it's like to lose it? To feel that he's 
not close, to feel like he's just left you, but he hasn't. We're the ones that move. 
carrying that emotional weight is gonna burn you out, and it doesn't save 
[00:06:00] them. It just breaks you. So rather, I would love to see you 
again, whether it's the surrender, it's journaling, some people will make a God 
to-do list the things you're waiting for God to do and then trust and believe in it. I 
think many of us need to learn to recognize the signs that when you're carrying 
too much could be trouble sleeping. Maybe you're irritable, maybe you're isolating 
yourself. pay attention to how you're feeling physically and emotionally and remember that 
this doesn't mean that you stop loving. It just means that you stop trying to 
carry. Their situations. And lastly, walk in faith. Not Fear. Fear is telling you, the 
enemy's telling you what if they never change? What if this never gets better? Faith 
can say, even when I can't see it, I know God's working behind the scenes. 
It's persistence. It's choosing to stand firm in peace. Even when the storm hasn't 
passed, you're still in that messy middle. You're [00:07:00] still navigating the hardship, 
I would love to help you practice that every day, Giving you tips on that. But you're the one 
that has to do the work I encourage you to get out of isolation. Join a support group. 
Someone that realizes that you are seen, supported, and prayed for, 
whether it's me or someone else, you need support. And so I want 
you to start doing something. Think of one thing that you can bring 
back to your life. Maybe it's walking, maybe it's music, maybe it is journaling. Maybe 
it's just laughing again, and when your child reaches out, don't overthink it. Don't rush 
in with, oh my gosh, what happened? Or why, why are you reaching out now? Just, just breathe 
and tell them that you're glad to hear from them. We don't need to give them the 50 
questions, even though I know that that [00:08:00] is what's going through 
your mind. God's gonna work all that out, I promise. those conversations are gonna 
end up flowing. Just remember your child's story is still being written and so is 
yours and their battles don't define you. Let God be God and you be mom. 
sometimes we try to be at all, don't we? I hope that helps you today. I 
will see you in the next episode. God bless.