Have you ever said yes with a smile, but your soul was whispering no? Maybe you handed money over that you didn't have? Maybe you stayed on the phone through another disrespectful rant or canceled your own plans to keep the peace. Deep down, I know that you know it wasn't right, but then you have the guilt and the fear of losing them forever. If that's you, you're not weak. You're a mom trying her best. But what if saying no wasn't rejection? What if it was actually the first step towards some real peace for you and your adult child? [Music] Number one is the guilt is real. You know, the guilt is real. It's how you're feeling, but don't let it be your guide. Because when you have guilt after saying no doesn't always mean you've done something wrong. oftentimes it means you've stepped outside a longstanding pattern that you've had with your child. So most moms are conditioned to believe that good means self-sacrificing, but love with no limits at all is going to lead to burnout, resentment, and enabling. Let me say that again. Love with no limits is going to lead to burnout, resentment, and enabling. So if you can reframe that thought by saying, you know, hey, saying no is not unloving, it's protecting what God has entrusted to you, your heart, your peace, and your health. I see so many moms, including myself, I went through this. So many moms whose health is deteriorating due to not being able to say no. And to be honest, I want you to remember that, you know, while journaling can can definitely help. I know a lot of moms who are journal fanatics and it's wonderful. It's really guided them. But I want you to take note of this, whether you journal or maybe you just start today. What is a recent moment where you said yes out of guilt? And the follow-up question is, what did it cost you emotionally? Number two is no is a complete sentence. I think our parents used to say that when we were little. You know, you don't need to defend your decision every single time or write an essay about why you declined something. You know, really that's fear of rejection and that's why people do it. But if you have loving, clear, firm, kind language that can preserve both your peace and your dignity, you know. So, if your child is asking you for something and you're afraid to say no, but you know you need to, but you know what? I love you, but I can't help you with that or that doesn't work for me right now. You know, I hope you can figure out a solution. I believe in you. I know you're going to figure this out and empower them to empower themselves because right now they're not having to do any of the work. some of your kids. You know, when someone is used to getting a yes, your no, especially the first one, might sound like cruelty, but actually it's maturity. Another journaling idea for you is to practice three real life no responses, just love. Practice those. get get those ready so when you get the next question or you do get the next request for something that you feel that you should not be doing or giving, you're going to be prepared. And so a lot of you moms are stuck in this cycle of saying yes when your heart says no. If that's you, this is your wakeup call. So let's talk about it. Um if you are interested, you can book a discovery call and it's an opportunity. It's a private call between you and I where we navigate through I want to hear a little bit about what's going on with your child. I want to hear even more about how this is affecting you because that I can let you know how I might be able to help. So when you are interested in pursuing coaching, interested in hearing about it, um you are welcome to book that discovery call. Number three is when the push back feels like punishment. So they are going to feel that way. They may respond to those new boundaries, those new personal limits with a guilt trip. You're the only one that I have, Mom. Right? Or, you don't love me. They can guilt trip you. They can accuse you. They can silence or emotionally withdraw. So, you do need to be prepared for these things. I think that's what stops a lot of people from doing it because you have so much fear around being rejected. But don't take the bait, right? When your no is met with manipulation, it basically should be confirming to you that that boundary was necessary. So, repeat that boundary calmly without engaging in drama with them. So, you just want to practice that technique and repeat it calmly because you're not going to just have to say no one time. They're going to come back thinking you've changed your mind. Number four is saying no is part of your healing. It is part of your healing, too. Because every time you say no to dysfunction, you're saying yes to your own future. You're saying yes to your own life, your own finances. Because some of you are struggling with your own finances because you are providing for your adult son or daughter. Setting these limits allows space for God to work in both of your lives, which is amazing. Just remember that sometimes your no creates the silence they need to finally hear truth. So what is the one no that you've been too afraid to say? And what would saying it free you from? So, I would love to hear from you in the comment section because I want you to know that you are allowed to prioritize your own peace and you are allowed to disappoint someone so that you can stay healthy and you are also allowed to say no and still be loving, faithful, and incredible mom. For those of you that are struggling with that today, I just know want you to know that there's hope and there is a way out of that. It just is going to take some action. I hope this helped you today. I'll see you in the next episode. God bless.