If you're a mom who has rearranged your entire 
life around the silence with your adult child, maybe you're constantly checking your phone, 
you're replaying the past in your mind and you're wondering what you did wrong. I just want 
you to know that I see you. I've walked that same painful road, and today I wanna share some 
things that help me break free from that cycle. And finally, find peace even 
before reconciliation. I have these four points for you today, so let's dive in. Number one is the cycle of obsession. 
Can I just say obsession? That was me, and I promise you it will drain you. And for 
those of you that have been in this for even a month or more, not to mention some of you in 
years. You know exactly what I'm talking about because when you're estranged from your 
son or daughter, it's easy to fall into that [00:01:00] trap of obsessively waiting 
for, a message or a call or anything, right? And what happens is that cycle of hope and 
disappointment ends up consuming your time, your mind, your energy, your joy, everything. And I want you to remember that, waiting for 
them to give you peace. Is giving them complete power over your life. And that goes for any 
relationship that we have. you cannot wait for them to make a move before you have peace, 
because your peace does not come from them, right? let today be the day that I hope that 
you can recognize that your peace cannot depend on someone else's decisions. Number 
two is you're more than a mom. You know, I feel like I say this a lot, but some of you 
need to hear it more than once because you are a whole person. estrangement can leave us feeling 
like the only identity in the whole world that we have is the [00:02:00] mom that they don't talk 
to or the mom that they're disrespectful to. But you, Susie, Terry, Amy, you're still 
you. And you were created with dreams, with gifts, a calling. I promise you, 
every one of us have a calling and that part of you still matters. And 
so I want you to ask yourself, what did I used to love? What have I abandoned 
that used to give me life, that brought me joy? Because this is about reclaiming 
yourself as a whole person, not just waiting for them to come back, and 
certainly not waiting for permission to live again. I did this so I know what you're 
going through. My whole life went on hold, and while my whole life was going on 
hold, my health went down the tubes. I became addicted to alcohol. So all the 
things, so I've been you. I know how you're feeling. I know what it feels like to feel 
like you need to numb the [00:03:00] pain, but I promise you that is not the 
answer. It just makes it worse and much longer to recover. So if any of 
this is hitting home for you today, if you're ready to stop living in this emotional 
survival mode, I am hosting a free online event. It's called The Turning Point, and it 
is on Friday, July 25th at 7:00 PM EST. I'm gonna walk you through some steps that 
help me move from this constant heartache to some peace. this is not about giving up 
on your child, it's about giving yourself permission to heal. if you're interested, I 
will have the link in the show notes below. You can save your seat today. Number three is 
boundaries are not punishment. So many of us think that boundaries are mean that their punishment, 
but really their protection, protection for them, protection for you. And many moms feel like. 
So much guilt, drawing [00:04:00] this line in the sand with their adult child, 
especially if that child is struggling. So if they're struggling with, addiction or 
dealing with their own struggles in life, these emotional boundaries aren't about 
shutting the door on them. It's about protecting you, your mental health, your 
spiritual health, your physical health. And you can still love them deeply 
and say that this behavior's not okay. So it's one thing if they're struggling 
and they come to you and they're like, mom, I really need some help. I know every single 
mom watching this video right now would say, I've got like, I'm gonna help you. Of 
course I'm gonna help you right When they come to you. And it's a genuine 
cry for help. You're gonna be there. But I'm talking about the behavior that is 
disrespectful. So boundaries. Remember that this is how we honor ourselves and 
then we leave room for God to work in their life. We need that space. It 
is. I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for the [00:05:00] space I had because 
God did miracles in my family's life. So let's dive into the last point here. 
Number four is you can have peace. You can have peace before reconciliation 
happens. it doesn't have to wait until the relationship is fully restored. God 
can bring calm to your spirit and theirs, even in the middle of all of this mess, all the 
unknown, where you're like, is that even possible? your job is to walk in joy, purpose, health 
and freedom while holding out for healing for them. You're not stopping your life 
because you are allowed to live again. So even as you continue to pray 
for them and, have hope for them, and the relationship, you need 
to continue to move forward. So when you have that anchor right, anchor 
your identity in him, not your child's choices, because then peace can become possible no matter 
what's going on in your world. [00:06:00] And so just remember you do not have to keep breaking 
your own heart. Because I think that's what we really do. You're breaking your own heart to 
prove that you love them, and maybe you're just trying to prove that to yourself, or 
you think that you have to do it that way, So I hope that you start healing and 
start trusting and walking through this whole process with just more hope 
and shine. Hopefully we'll see you on the 25th. I hope this episode helped. 
We'll see you next time. God bless.