Has your adult child ghosted you? Stopped replying to your calls, your texts, and it's like they disappeared without explanation, and maybe some of them did, and you're left drowning in what appears to be very much silence. And so, if that's where you are today, you're not alone, and you don't have to stay stuck. Today, I want to talk to you about this and what you should do while you are being ghosted by your adult child. So, let's dive in. [Music] Number one is stop trying to force a reply. I know your first instinct is to write the letter immediately, keep reaching out, all of that because for most of you, it's not making any logical sense on why this is happening or you're not seeing the forest through the trees, right? So, when this happens and you feel ghosted and this is happening, your mind is spiraling. So, more than likely, you're rereading old messages or texts, and you're replaying every conversation in your head, wondering what you did wrong. And so, you might even try to fix it. Like I said, these these letters, long texts, trying to explain yourself again and again, apologizing for everything in the kitchen sink, even if you didn't do it. So forcing communication rarely brings this real connection back and this has been my personal experience as well as the many moms that I have coached who have been ghosted. I truly believe that the best thing to do is to not force this time. And I know it's difficult, but forcing communication I is the, you know, the more you chase, the more it chips away at your peace and your child is not feeling like you're honoring what they've asked. If there's a real reason and they're trying to work on themselves and they need some time, right? I'm not saying you just let it go for a year. There's a lot of circumstances around that. So, it's not just an easy easy, you know, scenario and just saying one sizefits-all and this is what you do. But you have to protect yourself first and foremost. You have to protect your own energy. So, pulling back, trying to release the need to get an answer right now, knowing that you're very much likely to get the answer, but right now you don't have it. The space that you want to be in is one that you're not giving up. It's giving God room to move and do what only he can do. Number two is don't let the silence define you. As that silence is happening, it gets louder and louder in our head, which is the enemy. You failed. What did you do wrong? They hate you. You're not worth you're not worth loving. You know, their silence is not your identity. And the lies that the enemy is putting in your head about you or what you did doesn't mean you were perfect, but they're very strong. And you need to start paying attention to what voice you're listening to. Adult children ghost for many reasons. A lot of it's emotional immaturity. They're not handling their own life well for whatever reason. Maybe they fear confrontation with you or family. Maybe they're being influenced by others, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, who knows? Or even trauma that they haven't unpacked themselves. And for a lot of kids right now, especially, you know, they're not unpacking it. And when they are, they're being told to just just to cut you off, just to take a pause, right? So, it doesn't mean that you caused it. It doesn't mean that you are broken. You are still the same loving, devoted mom who likely gave her all. Now, that may not be their perception, but you have to know what you have done. And it does matter because even if they're not acknowledging it right now, you need to know that you did the best you could with what you had. And I know that sounds cliche, but it's so so so true. So, if you are living in this quiet heartbreak, because that's what this is, and you're not sure what to do next, I want to invite you to something. I offer private discovery calls for moms, just for moms who are tired of trying to hold it all together alone. It's not a coaching session. It's a consultation to see if we're a good fit for coaching. So, if that's something that you are kind of support that you're considering for yourself, then that would be the time to reach out. The link will be in the show notes below and you can book that at that time. This could be your turning point. getting in a community, whether it's one-on-one coaching, group coaching, whatever it is that you feel that you need. I would love to meet you uh for that purpose and just to kind of hear what's going on and how it's affecting you, too. Number three is speak truth. Speak truth into yourself, into the loneliness, because it's there. The loneliness is there and ghosting creates emotional isolation. So, even if you're surrounded by a room full of people, you feel unseen. We've all been there for whatever reason. We've all been in a room full of people and still feel alone. When you're going through something like this, it magnifies. And the enemy loves isolation. You know, that's where shame grows. That is where shame grows. He wants you isolated because if you're in community and you have support, you're able to shake that a lot easier. You're able to break that off. But healing begins when you speak truth into yourself as well. So whether you're journaling some really raw things that may be just for your eyes only that's okay. It might be prayer you know whatever it is for you that is what you need to do when you start speaking truth over yourself and over your family and not just truth but life loneliness will shrink. You need to speak life over your family because your voice is part of this healing. What you speak is powerful. It really is. And you get to choose. You get to choose the words that come out of your mouth. So keep that in mind. And number four is building a life that you're not wanting to escape. Right? Every person should be doing this whether you're going through arangement or not. It's easy to hit that pause button to think also for your kids like once they come back I'll be okay. Once they text I'll be okay. But it's not good for yourself. Or if you're married, maybe you have other children. You have a life to live. and reconnection will likely happen later, but right now life is happening. And what are you doing? So, what can I say yes to this week that brings me joy or peace? What can you say yes to this week? Ask yourself that question. Maybe it's movement. It's working out. It's taking care of yourself. It's worship. It's community. Set a new goal. You can honor the ache and realize that yes, accept that this is where I'm at today, but I am not staying this way. I'm not going to abandon my own life because my son or daughter wants a break. When they do return, they're going to see a mom who's not bitter, but blooming. How beautiful is that? And I want to give you a little bit of hope here. Did you know that there's also a study from 2022 that says 81% of adult children who ghost their mothers eventually connect. So, if you're holding your breath, let this be your reminder that you don't have to wait to start healing. You need to start walking in peace and let your healing start before the door reopens, not after, because that will be a huge sign for your son or daughter as well. And they're going to see maybe a new mom, maybe a healthier mom. I know my daughter came back to a healthier mom and I'm so grateful for that opportunity. I don't wish her to ever go through what she's gone through again. And frankly, I don't want to either, but I see the fruit of it. And I see the good that came out of what the enemy tried to destroy. But he didn't destroy my family. The Lord reconciled it and he can do the same for you. So, don't stay isolated. Book a discovery call if you're ready to consider some coaching and we can talk about some support that can help you. Just remember, you're not alone and you're stronger than you feel right now. I hope this helped you. God bless. I'll see you in the next episode.