Mom, I know this hurts. I know you raised 
them. You love them. You sacrificed and now they're calling you narcissistic, toxic, 
controlling. Those are the three big ones, right? And you're left wondering, was 
I really that bad? And this video, I wanna walk through some things that are really 
happening beneath that label of narcissism. Toxicity and control and why it 
may have nothing to do with who you truly are as a mom. So I have four 
points for you today, so let's dive in. Number one, as I'm sure you can imagine, 
is there are repeating buzzwords. So we all know with the hype of social media 
the way it is today. The way our world is, there's a lot of buzzwords that 
people just throw around. Right. I know. I don't even have to tell you 
this. Sometimes it is coming from, A therapist who is not having the whole 
[00:01:00] family in the best interest. maybe only considering her client 
and not wanting to take a look at the family as a whole. So that's not always 
the case. There's good therapists out there, just like anything else. where I see it coming 
from a lot as well is TikTok and Reddit, believe it or not,we all know the 
words like gaslighting, narcissism. Emotional abuse, it's everywhere. 
People are throwing it around, they don't even know what it means, 
your child may be copying what they hear online or they're hearing it from friends, 
But these terms sound clinical. They sound smart, but most young adults using them have zero context 
or training in regards to what it really is. They're just uncomfortable for whatever 
reason. Now, keep in mind here, I'm very well aware. That narcissism is a real 
thing. There's a lot of moms dealing with this, and it might be with a son-in-law, 
daughter-in-law, but this video is for you as a mom who your child is saying 
that's you, [00:02:00] right to your child. Normal parenting boundaries feel like manipulation as they get into their late teens and adulthood 
because if you're, especially if you're, if they're still in your home or you're 
trying to navigate a hard relationship and you put up some boundaries. Of 
course they're gonna call you toxic. It's manipulation. To you. It was 
structure and love and some discipline, right? one thing I would ask yourself is, 
how did you go from being their protector to the villain? I'm sure you're 
asking yourself that. I believe the answer is that they don't understand the 
difference between discomfort and danger. they label both the same. There's a 
lot of families that are. Experiencing real emotional abuse, right? 
And, and worse. And, that is, that danger that those people are in does 
not compare to some discomfort that the average family in the world really is dealing 
with right now with all of this estrangement. And so I want you to keep in [00:03:00] 
mind, the difference between discomfort and danger. They don't know the difference. 
They're probably not even thinking about it. The label makes sense to them on how 
they're really feeling right now. So they label both the same. Number two is they're 
speaking from their pain, not a diagnosis. So when your child is saying, you're a 
narcissist mom, They're not always making this medical judgment And I think you know that, 
but it still hurts. They're trying to make sense of how they felt growing up, and so they're 
going backwards. maybe they felt unheard. Maybe they felt overly controlled or 
misunderstood so now they have this label that they can name something painful, 
even if it's untrue or exaggerated. Again, that does not take away from those 
dealing with true narcissism or toxicity, but it's not about who you are now it's about, 
it's about how they are processing the past. They're only using [00:04:00] 
social media tools, Unfortunately, that pain is often projected onto parents. if 
you're walking on eggshells, feeling blamed, emotionally stuck in shame, that does 
not belong to you. I wanna invite you to something different. I offer discovery 
calls for moms who are looking for more, they're wanting more support in their life 
to be able to navigate this hard path. So it's a real conversation that you and I 
would have, and it's an opportunity to see if we're a good fit. And so that link for the 
discovery call will be in the show notes below. Number three, I know this is gonna shock 
you, but they found a crowd who agrees. And if that's not the truth, right? People 
go towards people who agree with them, and that's our entire history, I believe. 
Once your adult child finds someone else, whether it's in person or online, that 
says, yes, that happened to me too, that label becomes truth [00:05:00] because then 
they're able to put an answer to whatever's going on in their mind and their perception of 
something, and there's no balance in that. And no one's asking them, was your mom really 
narcissistic or were there just some hard seasons? they're just looking for validation. 
The reason I'm talking about this is I have a lot of moms that I serve that have been told 
this, and I don't believe that they are, nor were they. this is the perspective of an adult 
son or daughter who really has no training in it. Um, and, and not looking for that balance 
perspective. that's why I'm doing this video for you because I see the pain in these 
moms. many times our kids are being praised for breaking these generational cycles, And 
the more that they're being praised for that, the less likely they are to 
look at the full picture. So moms often feel like there's no 
room even for my version of the story, Because the internet has already [00:06:00] 
written it for them. And that is, that is a shame. That is definitely a shame. And lastly, 
number four. They see it through a new lens. You know, you were raised to be 
strong and do what had to be done. Many of you were single moms. Maybe 
you didn't have the best upbringing yourself. Maybe you were in a hard marriage 
and maybe life was good too. But either way, our kids are being raised in an age of 
feelings first, Therapy terms, diagnosis, identity, language, all of this stuff. 
And it's like what you saw as helping. They're saying is controlling what 
you called love and how you raised them. They're calling trauma it's not 
that you failed, it's that you speak these different languages and right now in 
the place that they're at, in their world, they don't know how to translate your language. 
And who thought we would ever be here? you're not alone and you're not [00:07:00] 
crazy for feeling heartbroken over this. But I want you to just keep in mind that 
if you are still hearing this or you have heard it in the past and you're hanging 
onto it, you may not be perfect. In fact, I know you're not because there's no such 
thing, but you do deserve a space to heal without constantly questioning your worth as a 
mother and everything that you ever did for them. I hope this helps you even just a little bit, 
and I'll see you in the next episode. God bless.