You did your best. And so why are you cut off? You know, if you're a loving mom wondering how you went from family dinners to silence, you're not alone and it's not always your fault. Estrangement happens far more often than people even realize, even to good caring moms. And today I wanna help you understand why without piling on blame and give you some real steps on how to navigate peace direction and maybe even a path forward. So today I have four points for you, so let's dive right in. Number one is you're not alone. You know, we say that a lot, but it's true because before we ~do ~go any further, I want you to hear loud and clear that you're not the only one. About 27% of Americans experience family estrangement and research are showing that 11% of mothers are cut off from at least one child. This isn't rare. Or, or a shameful thing that only happens to bad parents. It happens across all walks of life to [00:01:00] moms who have poured their hearts into their children. When you know you're not the only one, sometimes that will help. The shame kind of loosen its grip and you can begin to look at your situation without feeling like you have to hide it. And that is something that a lot of moms feel. Number two is the myth of the perfect mom. 'cause it's a myth, right? One of the most common patterns I see in moms that I work with and that I've coached is the belief that ~they can, ~if they could just explain or defend or prove that they were good mom, that their child will finally understand and just come back. ~But ~here is what the research says. 78% of the moms that take my empower mom quiz, admit that they react from guilt. And 73% of them say that they feel unheard. So while you're trying to clear your name, they're not thinking, oh, you're not listening, ~right? ~It's heartbreaking ~though, ~because your intentions can be so good, but this cycle can actually push your child further away. So if [00:02:00] you're realizing that you've been stuck in this exhausting pattern and you're ready to break free, I wanna invite you to two things. First, there's a private discovery call with me. It's not a coaching session. It's a heart to heart conversation. When you're ready to dive in and learn more about coaching for yourself, when you're ready to take that step forward, that's what the discovery call is for. But if you're craving some in-person connection and a space where you can feel truly understood, join me in Florida here in October for the Rise retreat. It's gonna be two days of transformation, encouragement, and renewal, and a special q and a session with my own daughter who walked through this estrangement. So links to both of those are right below in the show notes or video. Number three is the real reason why Estrangement happens. You know, a lot of people have their opinions, but it usually never comes down to one big fight. ~So ~more often than not, it's this slow breakdown over time. ~And ~sometimes it can be an [00:03:00] emotional need that's not met unintentionally, left unmet. Sometimes it's generational differences in how we handle. Boundaries and communication ~and all of that. ~And sometimes it's the influence of others. Social media, changing how our adult children view family roles, right? Mom and dad don't agree with you, just cut 'em off. But sometimes it's their own struggles. Mental health challenges, relationship issues ~could be ~addiction. Pressures from outside influences, but you knowing that there are other reasons can help give you some clarity without crushing yourself under all this guilt. And that clarity is the first step towards change for you as the mom. ~And then ~lastly, number four is rebuilding bridges. You know, when you're ready to approach your child again.. And there's three steps that I've seen work for so many moms in my community and that I've worked with one-on-one. Number one is pause before responding. You're not gonna get all your questions [00:04:00] answered in that first conversation. ~Right. ~Having that moment of stillness can keep conflict from spiraling. Number two is validate their feelings. Before you share your perspective. Even if you don't agree, ~you ~all you have to say is, I hear you and I can see this matters to you, and I'm sorry this hurt you. You're gonna increase your chances of a positive response. And then number three is ask open-ended questions. Don't defend, don't try to explain. This approach has, in my opinion, doubled the estrangement and connection in real life conversations for moms that I've worked with. Because, you know, 81% of estranged moms eventually reconcile with their children. So let's not forget that part. There is hope, and I ~do ~wish ~that ~people would realize that ~they're, ~they're not alone. They don't have to feel shame, because you might just realize that a lot of these moms would be, oh my goodness, I'm going through that too. So if this resonated with you, ~just ~please know you're not broken. This season does not define [00:05:00] you. You are worthy of love ~and ~peace and a life. ~So ~whether or not they're ready to connect with you today, this is your time. This is your time to dive in. ~So ~I look forward to talking to those of you in discovery calls, or maybe we'll see you in Florida at the Rise Retreat. God bless.