Every mom has hopes and dreams for her child. But what happens when your adult child isn't living up to those hopes? Or worse, when addiction or destructive choices steal away the person you once knew? Let's talk about how to face that painful reality without losing yourself. Today, I have four talking points for you on this. Basically, it's grieving your child. So, let's dive right in. [Music] Number one is grieving the child you imagined. Many moms picture their children's future, right? Successful career, happy family, healthy choices. But when that reality is different for you, it can feel like a very huge loss. Maybe you're a mom that always dreamed that her son or daughter would go to college, but instead maybe you're watching them cycle through jobs and unhealthy relationships. Maybe you're feeling a deep disappointment, but also guilt for admitting that. You know, this is grief, and it's okay to mourn what you thought life would look like. It doesn't mean you've given up on your child. It just means you're human and you're acknowledging the reality. Secondly, addiction changes the person you knew. If you're a mom navigating that with your child, addiction hijacks the brain. You know, you may look at your child and see their face, but the way they're acting, the lying, the manipulation, the anger, it's not truly them. It's the substance. It doesn't mean that they're not responsible for their behavior, but you need to keep in mind that you're dealing with two different people here. A daughter who was once loving and close maybe is now super distant and unpredictable because drugs or alcohol have become the priority. Just remember, your child's not rejecting you personally. They're consumed by the substance. And the truth can help you stop taking every word and action as if it were coming from the child you raised. I don't know any moms that don't need to learn that lesson because we get so almost offended because we cannot believe what they're saying, how they're acting, you know, that they're not following through with things or manipulating, all of that. So, if you're a mom living in this painful place, I want you to know that you do not have to walk through this by yourself. So, I do offer what's called a private discovery call. It's not a coaching call. It's an opportunity for moms who are ready for coaching, who want to see what kind of support is available. I offer one-on-one coaching and group coaching. If you're ready to take that bold step forward, I'd love for you to do that when you're ready. And it's okay if you're not ready now. And if you want to dive in in person, we are having the Rise Retreat this October 10th and 11th. And it's a two powerful days of teaching and encouragement and community with moms just like you. Every one of these moms is navigating something with their adult child. So if you want to be in good company, have laughter, maybe some tears, we would love to have you. Number three is separating their choices from their worth. This is a big one. When your child is struggling, no matter what it is, it's so easy to internalize it. If I had been a better mom, maybe they wouldn't drink or maybe they wouldn't be angry or maybe they wouldn't have cut me off. But their choices, whether it's addiction, being disrespectful, or even just irresponsibility, those are theirs to own. You can guide and pray and support, but you cannot control the outcomes. You know, a mom who might be apologizing over and over and over for her parenting even though her daughter is in her 30s making decisions about relationships and money. Apologizing endlessly doesn't fix it. It just keeps you trapped in guilt. We have to separate ourselves from that because you can love your child so deeply without carrying the crushing burden of their decisions. And number four, focusing on who you can be. When your child isn't who you had hoped, the healthiest version of themsself, the healthiest shift for you to make is to stop doing, "How do I change them?" and start saying, "Who do I want to become through this?" A mom who finally decides to take walks every day and journaling and maybe joining support group while her son was still an active addiction. Mom gets to grow stronger and calmer and more hopeful. You know, you may not be able to heal your child, but you can heal you. And this is where you choose peace, build your faith, reclaim your own identity outside of being a mom, and rediscover some purpose because that is where your power lies. You don't have to lose yourself just because of your adult child's struggles. Healing is so possible for you, and I'd love to help you find it. When you're ready, schedule that discovery call or join us at the Rise Retreat where you're going to connect with other moms who understand the journey because you are not alone. I hope this blessed you. I'll see you in the next episode. God bless.