What do you do when the people you trusted the most keep breaking their promises? Every I'll call you back or I'll be there turns into silence. It can start to feel like you were the problem. But what if the shocking truth is it was never about you at all? I want to talk about this today. So, let's dive in. [Music] First of all, broken promises. Let's talk about that because it feels like an emotional whiplash. That's the best way to describe it. Because when you realize that their words no longer match their actions, that's when reality sets in. It's very disappointing and it's scary at times, but it's also grief. You're living a kind of grief that reopens every time they say one thing and do another. You know the old adage about how words are words, I just need to see changed behavior. This is a perfect example of that. For whatever reason, they feel that they need to tell you they're going to do something and not do it. That clearly definitely 100% says more about them because in reality, all they had to do is say that they couldn't come or all they had to do was say that they weren't going to attend this or that or call you or show up. So, what happens for moms though is you start questioning your memory like, "Didn't they say they were coming? What is wrong with me? I start questioning my own self-worth. Maybe even for some of you, you're questioning your faith. You're like, where's God in all of this? But this confusion that you're having isn't weakness. You're craving some consistency. You just want them to keep their word. And the truth is, this doesn't just fade away. This kind of pain doesn't just fade away. It's going to repeat until you step out of the cycle. You all can see the cycle. If you're in it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Number two is recognizing the cycle. We have to take back control. If they're telling you that they're going to come visit, but they don't, or they don't even follow up, or they promise to talk, but then they ghost again. So, what happens is hope can become almost like a hook that keeps you waiting and hurting. It's almost like they're fishing, right? This hook keeps you waiting and hurting. So it keeps you in this cycle. But you can have faith without being held hostage to false hope. You can have faith without being held hostage to false hope. Some of your kids don't know how to act any different and some are choosing to do this. Some have done it for so long it's just who they are and how they've lived their life. And it's probably not just to you. they're probably doing it to other people. So, you as a mom need to set some emotional boundaries around promises. This is why it's so important that you stop living almost on standby. If you are ready to stop living on in emotional standby and you want to find some peace, even when it's unpredictable, which it usually is, I invite you to a private discovery call with me. This is not a coaching session. It's for moms who are ready to consider coaching. So, if you are realizing, I can't do this by myself anymore. I need some help. That's what this is for. And then I will be able to hear a little bit more about the story, find out how it's affecting you, and then I can share how I might be able to help. And number three is rebuilding trust. That's a hard one. It's hard to rebuild trust if you haven't seen changed behavior. But rebuilding that trust is going to start with you as a mom. It always starts with us, doesn't it? But it needs to. But we often think as humans, we think trust has to be rebuilt with them by them actually following through. But actually, it starts in here. It starts inside of you. So I want you to reframe some of this disappointment. Reframe it as, hey, this is teaching me something. Each broken promise shows you who they currently are, but it also reminds you of who you're becoming because you're refraraming it. You're taking a step back. You're not taking it personal anymore. And when you begin keeping the promises that you make to yourself for those of us who are in a healthier space, you you do typically keep the promises that you make to other people. But are you keeping the promises that you make to yourself? Are you resting? Are you healing? Are you protecting your own peace? Are you spending time with healthy people who are not going to bring you down? Cuz when you do, you're going to realize that you no longer need their follow through to feel secure. Now, that doesn't mean you don't want it. Of course, you do, but you don't need it. You are you are on this journey and you're going to be willing to realize that you have to wait and this is this is a journey. They're walking out their testimony and so are you. That's when you can realize, okay, she's not ready yet. He's not ready yet, but I'm going to keep trudging ahead, keep some promises to myself, take care of myself. I'm going to rest. I'm going to heal. I'm going to protect my peace by being and surrounding myself with people who truly love me and who are not fake. This is not the time to hang out with fake friends. You need your what I call personal board of directors. That's a whole another conversation. But these are people that are going to help you heal and who are there for you and they're just 100% genuine. That's who you need in your world right now. And lastly, number four is I want to talk about the transformation because when we can turn this pain into power, kind of like what we just talked about, I want you to learn to stop chasing these empty promises. And I want you to find the peace through surrendering it and through your own purpose because you have your own purpose for being here. It's not just to be a mom. Although I know it is one of our just most beloved and cherished titles. It is for me too. But you need to find that peace through the surrender and the purpose of your own life. God doesn't waste your pain. I promise you. That's why I do what I do. He did not waste one ounce of my pain. What was a major disappointment, a major valley in my life, the biggest valley I've ever gone through, has become my greatest strength. And you may think, well, it's easy for you to say you're on the other side. Sure, it may seem that way, right? It may seem that, you know, everything's perfect. No family is perfect. I am blessed, but God has restored. And he can restore your family, too. But I am allowing him to use my disappointments and my sadness and my heartbreak and my addiction and all of that. I get to use all of that as strength to help you. And to me, that is just the biggest honor that I could ever have. So, I want you to stop measuring your worth by someone else's consistency or lack thereof, and then you get to feel free. Just remember that broken promises. It isn't that they change them, right? They're still being consistent in their lack of keeping promises, but you, my friend, get to be awakened by it. So, I hope that makes sense. I hope that helped you today. I will see you in the next episode. God bless.