00:00:00 Have you ever opened a message from your son or daughter and instead of mom, you saw your first name? It might seem small on the surface, but it can feel like a very deep cut to the heart. That word mom has held decades of memories, love, and your identity. And suddenly it feels like it's gone. If this has happened to you, please hear me. You are not imagining the pain. You're not being overly sensitive. You're facing a very real shift in a relationship that may have felt unshakable in the past. And

00:00:33 you are not alone. In fact, I'm hearing more and more lately your sons and daughters calling you by your first name and stopped calling you mom. So, let's dive [Music] in. Number one is losing the mom title. You know, being mom, being called mom, isn't just about biology. Yes, you're their mother and they have a father, but it's about a belonging. And it's the role that many of us have lived 24/7, right? That name tied to late nights, all of our sacrifices, and unconditional love. And so when that name

00:01:23 disappears, it will feel like part of your identity has been erased. And that grief is real. There's nothing fake about that. You're not making this up. This is not in your head. Even family psychology experts confirm that when adult children create distance through silence, behavior, or even language, it can activate a deep emotional loss in the parent. And that's because it is a death of sorts, right? The grief often goes unrecognized by others, but you see it. I see it. And I want you to recognize it, too, so you

00:02:02 can begin to heal it. Number two is let's talk about what this shift usually reflects. Because quite honestly, this shift, being called by your first name, is more about them than about you. And you all hear me say that a lot because it's so true. It's signaling some unresolved pain or anger or even a need for emotional separation. It's not always a conscious insult, although I'm sure that's what it feels like. Sometimes it's your child's way of managing difficult feelings or asserting control. You know your son or

00:02:41 daughter best, and I'm sure you probably know the answer to that. Is it their difficult feelings or are they trying to control? For a lot of you, it's the control aspect. You know, adult child estrangement. A lot of the research does show and a lot of research in regards to the moms I speak to on a daily basis, you know, distancing behaviors like name changes or just cutting off communication or rewriting history. A lot of that is tied to their own identity struggles. That doesn't make it right.

00:03:16 But I want you to know this so you can hopefully stop internalizing it as your fault. So I hope that puts some realistic behavior behind it that you can accept and be able to move forward in this. But if you are done trying to guess what your child's behavior really means and ready to take a next step towards healing, I would like to invite you to a private consultation with me. It is not a coaching call. It's a one-on-one conversation to help us figure out the next right move for you. When you are ready for coaching and want

00:03:52 to evaluate what that looks like, you can book your call. The link for the call, it's a discovery call. It is in the description and show comments. Number three is guess what? You're still a mom. Even if they can't say it, a name does not define your motherhood. Love does. Even if they're calling you by your first name, even if they've pulled away, even if they never say mom again, you're still the woman who gave life showed up and poured herself out for them. You know, there's a lot of guilt that our kids are feeling, too. And they

00:04:29 may not have the tools to navigate back into this closeness relationship. Maybe not yet. The words may be missing, but nobody can take away the bond that you had. And if you've had a close bond with your kids, I believe it's coming back. You know, there's a lot of things happening in our world right now that we can't all explain. Just because the bond is broken right now, know that it doesn't mean it's broken forever. Hold your head high because your value has never been up for debate in my opinion. Your mom, whether they call you

00:05:04 that or not, because at the end of the day, this speaks more about them than you. Lastly, number four is responding with strength, not emotion. So, if you are in still in a relationship with them, maybe they're emailing you, texting you, maybe they say this in person. How do you respond? You don't need to react immediately or emotionally like most of us probably do. But your silence is your strength. And if you do feel led to say something, do it calmly. You might say, "When you use my first name, it feels

00:05:39 very distant, but I'm still your mom and that hasn't changed." Period. You're not begging for validation. You're just stating the truth with love. And that's all you have to do. And then release the outcome. Continue to pray for them. Protect your peace. Because if you don't have your peace, what do you have? We have to get that back for you so that you can navigate these waters and build a life that isn't defined by how someone else chooses to refer to you. I hope this helped you today. This is a message of hope. You

00:06:15 are not forgotten. You are not too broken to be restored. Your children are not too broken to be restored. God sees what your children can't. God sees what we can't. But he knows your heart and he knows every tear that you've cried over your kids. And it's okay to still be healing. Just know that you are still mom and you can be full of hope, strength, and grace when you are ready. So I hope that helped you and resonated with you. I will see you in the next episode. and God bless.